If you think about everything in life, the more we achieve the more we desire, it is part of our nature. So, it seems inevitable we will always be envious of someone because of it. In every conversation we are constantly reminded of the achievements of others, who has a better car, a bigger house, or a better suited partner. We are constantly reminded of this in social media. We don’t just seek praise to sooth ourselves; it is ingrained in us. Envy is even encapsulated in the structure of the brains striatum which is crucial for reward processing and motivation.
So, given the inevitability of envy, how are we able to live through its contortions?
It is to understand the reality of it, as instead of us denying it, we appreciate we will constantly become jealous and disappointed when we compare ourselves to others. As when we consider the simplicity of human behaviour, we are all constantly seeking reassurance and certainty. We become envious when we feel discarded, as there will always be someone wittier, more handsome or wealthier than us. Whereas a result, we will constantly be doubting if we will still be loved by others.
We can though see through envy for what it is, as a byproduct of our never ceasing desires. As it would be easy for us to empty our envies by simply denying our desires. Our will to desire though, is something that is nourished from our nature.
Therefore, we shouldn’t worry about the envy that engulfs us, but instead we can see it as the hallmark of our vulnerability and spur our efforts towards how we can handle it. By being honest and sincere through the primacy of our emotions and offering the reassurance to others that we crave for ourselves.
Is envy and jealousy taking over your thinking in an unhealthy way?
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